I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
