yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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