bring money and cleavage
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
