I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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