Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
