Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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