I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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