Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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