You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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