Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
