you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
