Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize