Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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