My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
