Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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