addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
