his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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