OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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