I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
