my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
