my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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