he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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