Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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