Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
