But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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