So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
