Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize