i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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