hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
