pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize