Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize