Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Jerry, you need to find god
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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