I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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