Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
