Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
