Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
COCAINE IS GR8
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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