I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
