Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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