this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
