): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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