your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
