I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
