i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We left the knife in your bed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
