the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize