one might say we're banned from that church
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
