meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
