I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is wine microwaveable?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
