Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize