yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
