I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
