That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
