tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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