yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Two words: nipple clamps
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