dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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