Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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