I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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