ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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