Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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