Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
