hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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