Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize