I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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