Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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