were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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