let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
